Saturday, 30 May 2009


All of this interpreted information passed around every day, completely subjective and relative to our own limited existence.

What is it that I want to say? What do I want to put back into this animal soup from which I have extracted so much and yet so little? I am always in relation to something else, but ultimately there is no outside or inside, it just is. I always want to speak directly to someone. But I feel as if they either understand to a certain extent already whatever I could say, or never will, and if they do; what comes after? Does it really matter whether we agree or disagree on an idea? Even I am prone to changing my mind.

The universe is infinitely large and infinitely small, and somehow it is all connected, but the distance between any two objects is always infinite. We have our own self-conceived notions of distance, time and other abstractions set on a human scale, but there are some things that we may never be able measure. Do I feel confined by popular definitions? Can I really use words to articulate myself effectively if they have an accepted meaning but are simultaneously malleable? It is representation, not the actual thing, but even the actual thing is not a fixed thing. Can two people ever truly connect? What is my ultimate goal, not just in my creations, but in life? Should my art reflect this? At times the most primitive urges and actions seem to dispel all angst and focus the bulk of my existence to a fine point that aims toward a visibly attainable target, evoking a sense of momentary satisfaction when that target is reached. There are other times, though, when that distant and elusive sentient flicker of transcendentalism beckons and urges me to pursue it.

I can either stay within my comfort zone or move out into the wilderness. Do I think too much, or not enough? What is it all worth and who decides?


  1. You have far too much time on your hands. Get a job like everybody else and just give in to the 'primitive urges'. Oh, and the thought of you physically touching me as an audience...*shudder*

  2. This happens to any one who thinks a lot. Thought prepares the mind for more thought, but ultitmately it gives no answers whatsoever and you must move beyond that point.It is tempting to give up and take an easy out like religion. This hardly satisfies the thinker and whatever initiates this process in some of us will not let you rest. You will continue to learn and think in spite of whatever alternate system of beliefs you try. There simply no way you can stop the process. Remember, consciousness can only know itself. It cannot know what unconsciousness
    is.It cannot give you answers to the final questions about the nature of reality or the universe. But they are not important anyway. Consciousness is awareness. If you can live in awareness...Then negation of everything including whatever cherished notions you hold, then, then you may find what you have always sought. My best.

  3. Please see the current discussion of existence at Being and Quirkiness( I think you will find it interesting and enjoyable and you may want to join in. My best. Count Sneaky

  4. No, my friend you do not think too much.It is impossible not to think or reduce the volume of your thought. There is a certain amount of determinism in the world that seeks to keep you focused on the rewards and pleasures of the world and if you are a good little boy or girl it will reward you with thinking of nothing but your own desires and their gratification. A terrible fate because you have abdicated your right to try and lift the veil from the face of reality. This determinism restrains the majority of our fellow men. You do not have to listen to it as you have apparently started to do.You are what you think. Therefore, examine all your thoughts dispassionately as you go on with your life. You are both the observer and the observed. You must be a light to your own path. My best. Count Sneaky

  5. You must realize you are putting something back into the system and it is as important in its integrity as anyone else. Integrity is the key. Write what you feel you must and ponder the rest. You are NOT required to be anyone else. If you try you lose your integrity. I see in you someone who is growing and needs room to simply experiment in your writing
    and your other interests.Michelle can see you from another viewpoint and this is valuable. In short, question everything. Negation is the way back to awareness and understanding. The Count has trod this path for 74 years and can attest to its power. My best